Update - looking over notes

I've been looking over my old notes. I thought I'd burned them, honestly, but it seems that even then part of me knew it wasn't over.

Or I'm as forgetful as my friends make a point of telling me I am.

Either way, it's nothing I don't remember already. Things like chills, waking up at odd hours in the night, talking in my sleep. Always, there was a persistent sensation of being watched, too - which is also the most prominent thing I feel now.

I must have just been starting medical school when this all started, too. I found a few files on my decrepit 2013 laptop about what I might have, plus the doctor's report from the monthly appointments I was booking myself into to deal with it. He was just as puzzled as I am now. Yes, coughing, hacking, all that, could just be a chest infection, but there are other, odder things, that he couldn't explain so easily.

"An unfortunate combination of a chest infection and migraines. Advise change in diet as caffeine intake could be stimulating pre-existing tendency towards migraines, and full course of clarithromycin."

He also told me I should come back in if it started giving me headaches, dizziness, or any ridiculous side effects. Irate, I told him that I was already getting headaches. He sighed and informed me that the chances of me having anything that would result in this specific set of symptoms was very low.

Which, in doctor speak, means that it would only be a concern if I had been to the tropics recently.

Which I had not - and still have not. I hate mosquitoes. I'm much more of a winter person.

Now, I took the antibiotics, felt awful, and stopped drinking coke, coffee, and tea - and anything even remotely chocolate based was right out, too.

No change. Not until it went away of its own accord after all this medical stuff had packed in and told me that if it wasn't getting any worse, then they didn't need me coming in all the time, and that they'd give it a good look while I waited and saw.

Ugh.

I'm sorry. I have a splitting headache right now too. The branches on the tree outside are making odd shapes on my wall against the streetlight, and this is all just terrible. Really, really terrible. I hate this, I really do.

Let's see, now. What else in this update?

I started looking over some old webpages, actually. Quite interesting, occasionally, but by and large it was just holistic nonsense, from what I could tell of it. I might have another look in the morning, but it all seems quite idiotic, I won't lie. They blame monsters and demons and spirits that possess the living - they're telling me that I'm being possessed.

Indeed.

That's all for tonight. I am, quite frankly, knackered. I'm going to crawl into bed with my dear girl, and hope she can make me feel warm again. It's too cold in here, and I've even got the radiator on.

~ Kev Elliot